appointments

Hello again-I just realized I have to make another appointment to see my specialist because it is that time again. I also have to make a doctor's appt and a dentist appt... I hate making appts and put them off usually as long as possible and I really don't know why. The appt with my specialist is one I especially don't want to make because in my opinion I have not improved much since the last appt in September and I worry he will be dissapointed in my progress or lack of it. After my last appt in Sept. I vowed to myself I would improve by the next one and it is one promise I don't think I have kept. I tried desperately to be at a point by now that I would be able to at least be doing some volunteer work again but something just seems to be holding me back. I realize my muscles are the problem and that it takes time but should it be taking this long? Is it wrong to be getting frustrated with myself for not being further ahead? Am I doing something that is slowing my progress? Am I expecting too much of myself? Should I be happy to be just where I am? Maybe it is just my lack of patience that I am setting unrealistic goals for myself that I am setting myself up for failure. Or maybe I really should be doing better than I am. Thanks for reading.