Church

Hi again,
Ok so this is something I have wanted to touch on but it could be very sensitive and I don't want to offend anyone but I want to talk about it. So here it goes.
Well I currently do not belong to a church. I have been to several churches in my life but only technically a member of two. There is something though that frustrates me about churches and that is what I want to talk about. There has always been a debate (well around here anyways) about whether you have to go to church or not if you are a Christian. When I was younger I was told that you have to go to be a good Christian but I didn't really agree with it but wasn't sure. One time at a church I was visiting because we were searching for a new church, the youth group I was part of did a debate over the whole church or no church thing which really got me thinkign seriously about it for the first time. Good points were made for both sides. Anyways my problem with churches is so often it almost feels as if church is self serving in the sense that we go to help our own self but also to serve God. There is need for that-I don't disagree with that but so often the self serving part seems to be the primary reason and then we let it stop at us. I think church should also be used to help us to help others. I don't know if I am making sense here but I am trying to convey what I am feeling. I love helping others and I am not saying this to look good at all-I just do. I feel it is our purpose here and it feels good to know I have made an impact and helped make the world a better place and that I didn't just take up space on this planet. I feel that it is also our purpose as Christians. But the churches I have gone to-I look around and it is like pulling teeth to get people to do something. So many people go to church on Sunday and sing the songs and like the sermons but it sort of seems to stop at that. There are so many opportunities to help others but people in the church often don't help. They are too busy or what ever. There are some that do of course but they end up burning out because they are doing so much because there isn't enough help. I don't know if this is a problem in more communities than mine but it is a problem here. There is always a lack of help even within the church. I also see the need in the communities and the churches do some but if all the churches pitched in and each took part-I can only imagine how amazing it would be. One time there was a Habitat For Humanity house being started and I was so excited and so pumped up and I thought hey this would be such a great opportunity for a group of us from the church to help out. So I went to the one pastor and was so excited and shared my thoughts on getting a group together and helping out in the community. But it didn't happen sadly. I went to people myself but could not get anyone interested. I tried to help still though. Another year the VBS program didn't run because there was not enough people to help. A program that reached out to the community sort of stopped running because there wasn't enough people interested in helping out. It is so sad to see. It bothers me so much also. My parents and siblings are the same as me and we love to do what we can and we finally got so frustrated trying to get people to do something that we finally left. My mom and my sister and I were heading something called White Cross where we would sew baby clothes and make bandages from old sheets for the hospitals in Africa and we were so passionate about it and so were about 3 other people but we could not get any more help from the whole church. We even offered food at the get togethers! lol But no one else was interested. We were so grateful for the help we had though. Anyways is it so important to go to church? Or can we serve God in other ways. Are we not serving God when we help others? Another point I would like to make is that I find I can have a more honest time with God by myself where I am not around other people who distract me. I also have a hard time being open when around other people. I worry what people will think of me if they don't agree with the way I do stuff. Maybe it stems from growing up in a church where everything was for show for other people to see and I hated that. I once saw something from Bono where he shared what he thought of Christians and he echoed what I felt about Christians not doing as much as we should be doing. I guess not even so much what we should be doing-there should be a desire to help others shouldn't there be? Is there a desire but people don't know what to do? Do people get too busy by accident? There are alot of good people in the church-I am not saying there isn't but why don't people want to do more for others?
I would like to add that I am not really against church because it can be good but I just get so frustrated with some things. I just wish there would be a church I could attend where more people wanted to do more for others and it wasn't just talk and there was more action. People are so good at talking about stuff but it gets tiring because no one actually does anything. I am tired of getting hopeful that there are other people other than me who are going to do stuff and then it is just talk. I get tired of sermons that are clearly about helping others and it is important but even the pastor is just talk. Show me a church where people actually DO help others and want to and are passionate about it and I would be love to be a part of it.