Week in review. lol

Hi again,
Well I haven't been on here much this week and there was a few things I had wanted to blog about but instead I will just try to keep it short and share about a few different things.
First off, on the weekend I tried an A&W chicken grill deluxe I think it is called and I thought it would be good to blog about food too. I have never tried this burger before and I had a coupon so I thought hey why not. It was very good! It is on a whole wheat bun I believe and there is quite a big chunk of chicken that has the same seasoning as the Chubby Chicken which is tasty. Also it had light ranch sauce which was a good choice and tomato. All in all it was quite good!
On Wednesday we went to Edmonton and visited my nephew who is so adorable and sweet and strong! He is 3months old and already sitting completely on his own and will try to stand on your lap! Yesterday apparently he turned from his back to his side on his own also. I think he will be walking in no time! lol I feel bad for my sister already. lol Also we had lunch at my sister's and I asked for crackers for the soup and they were rancid but I can't smell so I put them in the soup and started eating... oh it was bad! Not my sister's fault-they were not very old. But some days I wish I had a sense of smell that I could tell if crackers are rancid or milk is sour... yeah I have had sour milk a few times too. Not fun.
I found out that you should never close the car door before making sure that your mp3 earphones are out of the way. lol They didn't fare so well against the car door. Luckily we have an extra pair so I lucked out. Ooops.
I went in yesterday for stuff that I needed to get and I managed to get almost free Tylenol! The tylenol Muscles Aches and body pain was on sale for 6.99 and I had 3 different 2.00 off coupons and because London Drugs allows stacking-I was able to get 6.00 off! so .99 for Tylenol that is normally about 10.00 I think is not bad! lol Who says you can't get good deals with coupons? Several people do actually but they don't know how to use them properly. Sorry but it is true. If you feel coupons do not save money and they are not worth your time-you have not figured out how to use them properly. I regularely get good deals on stuff so it isn't a fluke. I am just saying. I get rather annoyed when people try to tell me that coupons are bad and a waste of time and don't save money.
The last thing about this week is something I know very well but love! Warm weather happened this week! Double digit temps on Monday!!! I think the first double digit temps in quite awhile here. To sit in that warm sun was just amazing!! Then the temps tanked and we had snow on Thursday. lol Welcome to March! The weather in March (and even April) is such a rollercoaster! You can't put away your winter jacket but you have to dig out your spring jacket also so you can switch back and forth-sometimes even in the same day. But I love it! It means warmer weather is coming!
Ok that is the jyst of this week. It wasn't a busy week I suppose. My back has kept me down so much this week that I have not been able to do much. Keeps me out of trouble too I suppose. lol

Pulling back a bit

Hi again,
The past few days I have been thinking about how much I share on here and whether it is too much or not. I have been trying to be open and trying to share experiences but I am wondering if I have been too open. For most of my life I have preferred to keep quiet about my personal stuff even to the point that I was afraid to ask for a prayer request when I was sick because I would have to share that I was sick and then the whole church would have known. I am not talking the flu though-I am talking about being sick that I made trips to the ER type sick. Anyways I thought I needed to change and be more open but I think I went from one extreme to the other and I have been too open. I have been feeling pretty exposed almost and I hate that feeling. One time I had opened up to someone and I trusted them and then I felt exposed and ended up wanting to run away and hide and move away to some remote island even though it was probably less than I have shared on here. I felt embarrassed and like the person could see right through me and even though that person may not have had problems with it-I did. I wanted to go back and erase all the moments where I had shared and I wanted to take it all back. I was so uncomfortable. I want to be more open and be more normal but I don't know if I know the acceptable limit is and where it becomes too much. I am learning though. I am not sure if I have shared too much here or not and if people will be happy that I am pulling back a bit but I am. lol I have even thought about erasing certain posts but I will leave them for now. I actually feel a little clueless right now on what should and should not be shared. I suppose that is what I get for keeping so much to myself for so long. Well I need to go to bed now! I am exhausted. Thanks for reading.

Hello again

Hi again,
Wow it's been a rough few days! Since last Thursday I have been having more pain than usual in my back which has managed to keep me down a fair bit which in turn has kept me off of here mostly. I am not sure what is going on exactly but I have luckily been able to manage the pain on just extra strength Tylenol. I hate taking so much tylenol but some days it is all I can do to keep going. Thankfully I have alot of coupons for Tylenol and London Drugs that I can get tylenol practically free! lol Always a positve in everything right? LOL I did manage groceries today and some much needed shopping on Saturday though which was great! I paid for Saturday's trip yesterday and spent alot more time down but I got through almost an entire book and also started on the 3rd book of Twilight! If there is one thing I try to do-it is try to make the most of what ever situation I am in. Sometimes it is tough but I think I manage ok. I just can't stop living because of pain. I love to read and when I get stuck in bed it is almost nice because then I have an excuse to stay in one spot and read. lol There are no other places to be because I can't be so there are no distractions either. Just me and a great book! I have a few things I would love to blog about from the last few days but it will have to wait till my back improves a bit more that I can sit at the computer more. Thanks for reading!!!

My cat on the Treadmill

Hi again,
Just thought I would share a video of my kitty my mom found back again! It is really cute and kind of funny! Enjoy! Felix on the Treadmill

Pictures!!

Hi again,
Well here are pictures as promised of my room so far. The key word is so far! there is still alot to be done.
My desk I have had for years. was too small.

My new desk!!!! It is a desk my dad made for the office but it isn't needed there anymore and so I got it!!! YAY! I love it!

My new craft table!! where I can make my cards and scrapbooking and what not!! Yay!!! I have wanted this for so long!!! My dad made this one also-it matches the desk!

What a Day!!!

Hi again,
Well I was wondering why I woke up so early this morning-maybe it was to help me fit in all I did today? lol All the rearranging and more rearranging and then nope doesn't work so moved stuff again... then trying to figure out how to get stuff where it had to go and what to move first... lol it has certainly been a process! all in a day's work I suppose? lol I can post pics maybe still. Stuff is still so chaotic that it will take more time still but I have lots of that. lol Oddly I seem to fill up any free time I have with stuff and I can still find more that I want to do but have no time for!! lol I am in the process of trying to come up with something that I can make money on that I can start to get my independance back and have some income and getting stuff done in my room is important so I have a good space to figure that out and do what ever I decide to do. I definitely have my own desk space now to work which will make such a difference in helping me to find a way to make some money. I used to have my own business way back before I was forced to quit working and I know that it is important to have proper space and organization to accomplish everything. I was baking Natural dog biscuits before it was a popular thing and before there was really anything natural/organic for pets in the average store. It was very successful and I just sold at the farmer's market each week so I didn't have a building to pay rent on and kept costs low. Anyways when my back and a whole lot of other issues got worse, I was forced to give up my business and the full time job I was working also. I was attempting to "get ahead" despite my physical problems. I laugh now thinking back to 2004 which is the year I was the busiest-I had absolutely no life and I never watched tv and I was constantly working. I litterally had like 16hr days where I put in my 8hrs at my job and then 8hrs with my business. Then throw in back problems and some other physical stuff and I burned out big time. I felt as if I was juggling all these balls and I could not let one drop or absolutely everything would crash around me. Then one day it finally did. I vowed to myself after that happened that I would never get myself that busy again that I would go through that all over again. I think part of me was trying to get ahead to prove to myself or someone that I could be somebody and to me somebody looked like someone who was successful and I was prepared to kill myself trying I guess. Though I don't think I set out thinking I am going to do this even if it kills me... Anyways, I did learn a lesson then and I hopefully will never forget it. I have also learned that living and family is way more important and I need to balance work and family. I am itching to get working so bad though. lol just to be able to support myself again and have that independance back. Well that said, I am on my way to getting back into making money by getting myself set up. Just to be able to make money that I can look at and know that I earned it and be able to support myself. Anyways I should go. I am exhausted! I think through the past 5yrs I have actually learned better how to pace myself that I know when to stop and rest. My body is not the same as some other people's and I do have limitations and denying that is only going to make things worse. As much as I push my body to work the way I want it to-I can't make it do things that it just can not do. I think everyone knows that! lol Somedays I wish I could make it through an entire day or even 8hrs with out resting but I can't so I just have to adjust and move on. Sorry, I have just been thinking alot about all of this lately as I venture towards making money again. Thanks for reading.

Organized Mess?? lol

Hi again,
Well I am continuing to organize myself in my new room and it is challenging. For anyone wondering-I still have to live at home because of physical challenges and my old room was falling apart along with like half the house so my parents are doing a major reno and I am in my new room now. I am enjoying my new room-no drafts or mice running along the floor. lol Yep we had a mouse problem. My dad is amazing-he is doing all the work himself. He can build anything and does and he is smart too. Anyways back to my organized mess. lol I am supposed to get a different desk still and a craft table and so I have had to move stuff around first to get the table in here and so stuff is everywhere! But it is organized in piles despite the cat trying to sabotage my efforts! lol But now I am supposed to get my desk too... This will be fun. Anyways my room is absolutely turned upside down but the funny thing is I know where everything is still. lol So it may sound odd to have an organized mess but apparently I have it down pat. I just hate clutter and so I am ready to pull out my hair but that is another story entirely. lol Wish me luck that I keep my sanity during this time. LOL

Trust

Hi again,
Trust. This is something I struggle with immensely. I don't trust really at all and I am almost always second guessing people and their actions or words. I am trying to be open in the attempt to prove to myself that I can trust but I think being open and trusting are actually 2 different things entirely. I suppose being open I have to trust that people won't hate me when they learn more about who I am but it isn't exactly trust. The latest example of not trusting people I think would be that I am attempting to send an email to someone and apparently it is not coming through but any other emails I send asking if it came through the person says that those came through. Hmm...I think anyone would start to wonder with this one but me especially right off the bat I assumed this person was not being honest. But I don't say that because I suppose even I am not completely honest in terms of I don't want to accuse anyone unless I have some more to go on. So I just keep trying to send the message and I continue to not trust this person in terms of how honest this person is being. I do not have any clue how to fix this but I am trying. I suppose it is also a bit of paranoia also. Though I think I am getting better at trusting people enough to be more open. It is still a struggle but I am getting better at it. I actually think blogging is making it easier for me. lol At first when I first started blogging-I was terrified of being open about myself but that is why I did this to help myself as well as share about myself and the struggles and joys I go through that it may help others. It is important to face fear. Sometimes it is difficult but I think the harder it is-the more important to overcome it. Thanks for reading!

Making Paper-part 2!

Ok so here are the pics as promised!!!
First step in my grand venture of making paper! lol I grabbed some shredded paper from our paper shredder and stuck a bunch into a tub I found to use. I noticed on the instructions it says newsprint or flyers but I am going to try to use printer paper since we have so much of it in the shredder. wish me luck!

Paper soaking in about 4cups warm water. Hoping this is enough water!

After I soaked the paper shreds in water for close to an hour, I stuck enough in to fill the blender about half full. it instructed to only add half a cup of liquid but as I found out-you need to add a ton more than that or the blender can't get it blended together.

Thirsty anyone?? LOL a nice soupy goopy sloppy substance. lol I wonder if I did this right? lol I added blue food coloring also to the blender to make it blue.

YUMMM!! LOL anyone hungry? lol Dumped from the blender into the strainer to strain off the excess liquid. Looks like a science experiment now. lol

Now the excess liquid has been strained off I dumped it on a piece of flannel as instructed to do in the instructions. Crossing my fingers. lol

Rolling out the pulpy stuff and hoping it is going to work. lol

Newly made paper drying by the woodstove.

So that last pic was taken around 4pm or so and since then it has dried a fair bit but still wet. Thank goodnes for the woodstove though! It really got the drying process going alot quicker. I will take another picture in the morning of it and hopefully it is basically dry tomorrow. Currently it is about the thickness of cardboard so I didn't roll it out thin enough but it was starting to rip when I got to this thickness so I am not sure I can get it any thinner. I am also thinking that maybe newsprint would work better maybe so that will be my next venture. This has been alot of fun and I am wondering if anything will come of this or if it was a fun experiment that I just learned from. lol Anyways that is all for now and thanks for reading!!

Making Paper!!!

Hi again,
Well today I am trying something I have wanted to try for quite awhile but never knew how to do it and haven't found a recipe so to speak on how to do it. Well I got an email from Canadian Living and there is an article on how to make paper from paper you would normally toss-hopefully in the recycling bin. :) I just can't believe how much paper enters our home each week and it would be nice to be able to use it somehow. This is a great idea and I am hoping it works!!! Well I am taking pictures as I do each new step so I can share how I did it when it is all finished! Stay tuned!! lol

Changes

Hi again,
I want to talk about something that I have continually struggled to put into words. It is about what I have dealt with physically through the surgeries I have had. Of course not everything because that would take a long time and I can explain most of it perfectly. Long story short-it hurts.lol But this one part of it has been something that has affected me so much. That part is the loss of strength that came with the surgery. Before the initial back surgery, I had alot of issues physically and could not work or really do alot of anything and was in chronic pain but I took pride in the fact that despite all of this, I had worked hard to keep my muscle strength. I was strong and I was complimented on it sometimes also. I loved it. Despite all the physical challenges I had-I could be strong still, well at least in some ways. I could lift heavy objects and I didn't need to ask for help from a strong man so to speak. lol But I never really realized (nor did it occur to me) that I would lose most of it with the surgery. But I did. I went to the hospital and went to sleep for the surgery and 9hrs later I woke up with out the strength to even lift a glass of water or pull myself up in the bed. My back of course was in a ton of pain and when it came time to walk again, it felt as if I had to relearn how. My legs didn't even have the strength I had before. Walking just to the bathroom required a nurse. lol 2 surgeries later and lots of recovery and physio, the thing that I have struggled to explain is how it felt. When I got out of the hospital-I automatically went to open the door and when I got home I would start to do a simple movement that I had done millions of times before and I would not be able to. Pain would quickly shoot through my back and body plus my muscles just didn't have any strength. But in my memory I knew I had done it before and I guess without thinking I thought I could still do it. I had a lot of hard lessons! lol I realized how to explain it this way- I feel like I was put into another body that is not mine and I still have the memories of before with the strength and ability I had but the body I have had this past while is not the same one. The limitations have been so big compared to what I dealt with before. These limitations are not permanent of course and come with the extensive surgery I went through where my muscles in my back were cut through to get to my spine. But to lose so much ability was so hard and to have to depend on other people just to change my clothes or have a shower or pour out a glass of juice when I had that strength before that I loved....it has been hard. I spent alot of time being embarrassed to ask and alot of times trying to do it on my own to avoid the embarrassment of having to admit I couldn't do something which would end in lots of pain. I have come so far and I am doing so many things again that I haven't been able to do till now but I still have stuff that I go to do that I used to do daily and pain shoots through my body reminding me that my body still isn't the same yet as it was. The interesting thing is trying to lift or pull objects that seemed so light to me before but are now seem so heavy and almost impossible to lift- in my mind I don't remember it being so heavy... lol But through all of this I have learned to accept help...well mostly. lol Which is something I have always had issues with. I have also learned so much that I can relate to others in ways I would not be able to had I not gone through this. Also having gone through this, I get this sense of joy when I can open a window now because I remember what it was like to not be able to do such a simple task. I guess it reminds me of the post I made earlier about winter and spring and how it relates to our lives. How winter helps us realize how amazing summer is. In the same way, going through this experience has taught me to not take anything for granted because I have realized what it is like to have something taken away even if only for a short time in my life. Then getting it back has given me this joy that I would not have felt otherwise. I apologize that this is so long and I wish I was more succinct and to the point but sadly I am not. lol I can be a little long winded I think the term is. lol Also I am still struggling to explain how I feel through this. I hope that maybe this may help someone in some way. I have no idea how but who knows right? lol I am just trying to be honest here with the stuff I face in my life and this is one that I face daily and have just recently realized how to put it into words. Thanks again for reading.

Pets

Hi again,
I had a very scary experience last night with my kitty Felix. The pic of him is on the left hand side at the top. Well every night I feed him a couple scoops of wet food as a treat and like clockwork if he hasn't gotten it yet he will start meowing at me at about 11:15pm. Last night he was rather quiet from about 9pm or so onward but I thought maybe he was just sleeping. I was preoccupied with sorting papers in my room and also chatting on smartcanucks which I spend alot of free time on. lol Anyways at about 11:15pm I started to wonder where he was so I started saying my goodnights to people on there and finally left and then went to go check on him because I was a little concerned. I could not find him anywhere and I was panicking so bad and I was so worried that he had maybe climbed on something and something fell on him or he got stuck somewhere and that he was hurt. With every moment that I could not find him I felt more and more panicked and actually found it tough to breath. I was so scared. Then I went into the family room and heard a very faint meow and I could tell he was alive but I had no idea where he was. Every time I went off in another direction to see if I could get closer, his meows got fainter that I could not hear them. So I got my sister to get my parents to help me look which was good because my dad had a good idea of what had happened. Earlier that night my parents had opened a window in the family room to get an arch inside that my dad made for the family room and apparently the window was the best way to do it. Well Felix must have slipped out before it got closed. It turns out that Felix was under that same window meowing to come back inside. I guess he figured it was the way he got out so it must be the way back in. Smart cat! I felt so terrible for not noticing he was so quiet and not going looking sooner. He was outside by himself in the dark and mud and chilly air for a couple of hours without food or water. I still feel awful for him. I don't know what I would have done if something would have happened to him. He is my life pretty much. He has been with me through so much, through my surgeries and my recovery and is so sweet and will lay on my stomach and cuddle when I can't get out and about. He really is part of the family and even my dad has a real soft spot for him even though my dad sort of denies it. lol Pets are amazing and great company and they don't talk back and they love you even though you are not perfect and they are always honest. Each one has it's own personality and little quirks and can't ever be replaced. Kind of describes family doesn't it? Well I am keeping a really careful eye on him today and he will get a bath later too. lol But no worries because he loves baths! odd I know. He sure is one of a kind!

Church

Hi again,
Ok so this is something I have wanted to touch on but it could be very sensitive and I don't want to offend anyone but I want to talk about it. So here it goes.
Well I currently do not belong to a church. I have been to several churches in my life but only technically a member of two. There is something though that frustrates me about churches and that is what I want to talk about. There has always been a debate (well around here anyways) about whether you have to go to church or not if you are a Christian. When I was younger I was told that you have to go to be a good Christian but I didn't really agree with it but wasn't sure. One time at a church I was visiting because we were searching for a new church, the youth group I was part of did a debate over the whole church or no church thing which really got me thinkign seriously about it for the first time. Good points were made for both sides. Anyways my problem with churches is so often it almost feels as if church is self serving in the sense that we go to help our own self but also to serve God. There is need for that-I don't disagree with that but so often the self serving part seems to be the primary reason and then we let it stop at us. I think church should also be used to help us to help others. I don't know if I am making sense here but I am trying to convey what I am feeling. I love helping others and I am not saying this to look good at all-I just do. I feel it is our purpose here and it feels good to know I have made an impact and helped make the world a better place and that I didn't just take up space on this planet. I feel that it is also our purpose as Christians. But the churches I have gone to-I look around and it is like pulling teeth to get people to do something. So many people go to church on Sunday and sing the songs and like the sermons but it sort of seems to stop at that. There are so many opportunities to help others but people in the church often don't help. They are too busy or what ever. There are some that do of course but they end up burning out because they are doing so much because there isn't enough help. I don't know if this is a problem in more communities than mine but it is a problem here. There is always a lack of help even within the church. I also see the need in the communities and the churches do some but if all the churches pitched in and each took part-I can only imagine how amazing it would be. One time there was a Habitat For Humanity house being started and I was so excited and so pumped up and I thought hey this would be such a great opportunity for a group of us from the church to help out. So I went to the one pastor and was so excited and shared my thoughts on getting a group together and helping out in the community. But it didn't happen sadly. I went to people myself but could not get anyone interested. I tried to help still though. Another year the VBS program didn't run because there was not enough people to help. A program that reached out to the community sort of stopped running because there wasn't enough people interested in helping out. It is so sad to see. It bothers me so much also. My parents and siblings are the same as me and we love to do what we can and we finally got so frustrated trying to get people to do something that we finally left. My mom and my sister and I were heading something called White Cross where we would sew baby clothes and make bandages from old sheets for the hospitals in Africa and we were so passionate about it and so were about 3 other people but we could not get any more help from the whole church. We even offered food at the get togethers! lol But no one else was interested. We were so grateful for the help we had though. Anyways is it so important to go to church? Or can we serve God in other ways. Are we not serving God when we help others? Another point I would like to make is that I find I can have a more honest time with God by myself where I am not around other people who distract me. I also have a hard time being open when around other people. I worry what people will think of me if they don't agree with the way I do stuff. Maybe it stems from growing up in a church where everything was for show for other people to see and I hated that. I once saw something from Bono where he shared what he thought of Christians and he echoed what I felt about Christians not doing as much as we should be doing. I guess not even so much what we should be doing-there should be a desire to help others shouldn't there be? Is there a desire but people don't know what to do? Do people get too busy by accident? There are alot of good people in the church-I am not saying there isn't but why don't people want to do more for others?
I would like to add that I am not really against church because it can be good but I just get so frustrated with some things. I just wish there would be a church I could attend where more people wanted to do more for others and it wasn't just talk and there was more action. People are so good at talking about stuff but it gets tiring because no one actually does anything. I am tired of getting hopeful that there are other people other than me who are going to do stuff and then it is just talk. I get tired of sermons that are clearly about helping others and it is important but even the pastor is just talk. Show me a church where people actually DO help others and want to and are passionate about it and I would be love to be a part of it.

MUD!!!!! Is SPRING finally here??!!!

Hi again,
Well over the past few days MUD has appeared!!! Wow I may run the risk of sounding odd here but it is always sooo neat to see mud for the first time each spring!!! Ok so spring hasn't officially arrived yet and we are still supposed to get more snow next week but hey there is mud and I am extatic!! lol Not muddy slush or frozen mud but squish between your boots get stuck in the mud type mud! I suppose it could be squish between your toes type mud too but at this time of year it may still be too cold to go bare foot. lol So anyways seeing this mud is so exciting because first of all I haven't seen mud since like last October (about 6months?) and second it signifies that it is getting warmer and spring is just around the corner.... hopefully. lol You never ever know with March what could come-it could still turn to -20 by the end of March but I am hoping that likelyhood is well unlikely. lol I should also mention I really am just a big kid and yep I still jump in mud puddles. lol It is so much fun still. Is that odd? I still love to put on my rubber boots and play in the mud so to speak. Who says this should only be for kids? lol This time of year is always so much fun and really gives this hope that everything that has been dormant and dead looking will soon spring to life again and the cold winter is going to be a memory soon.... well until the next year. lol I love spring and the new life that comes with it and the excitement of watching buds on the trees open and plants sprout from the ground. Seeing the first sign of new life like the first leaf or the first tulips push up through the ground gives me so much joy and excitement. I think that is part of why I live here in a climate where everything actually goes dorment and it gets cold because when everything comes back again it gives that much more joy than if it had never left. I don't know if I could live in a climate where nothing dies away over the winter that I would miss the firsts that happen every spring here. I think I would miss knowing the joy that comes with spring. I can admit easily that I don't like winter so much when it gets really cold but that makes spring all the more exciting. I guess it mirrors our lives in a way too. What I mean is if we didn't have struggles or pain in our lives, which no one wants or likes, we would not have the same joy that we experience when our lives go well. I think there would be nothing to compare the good against and it would not be near as exciting. Sorry it is something I realized awhile back and helps me get through the rough patches because I know that a better time is coming and that it will be all the more enjoyable because I know what it is like to not have it and to not take it for granted. If you have something all the time, you don't realize what it would be like to not have it and you are more likely to take it for granted right? I have alot more I could add to this but I think I will leave it at this. Thanks again for reading my blog!

Validation

Yesterday I realized something big. I look for validation in all the wrong places. I also realized I don't know exactly where the right places to look for validation are but I have an idea I think. I realized I look to other people for approval and validation essentially. I seek people's approval but sometimes the people I go to for approval don't always approve of me which reinforces my feelings of not being good enough. Do I choose these people to reinforce what I think of myself or is it by chance? But I thrive on people's compliments and I seek out approval also. I think that if people think I am good and I am important then I must be. But I think I should be looking at myself and giving myself validation right? I should be able to say to myself that I am doing good and it should be enough right? But it isn't. The interesting thing though also is that when people say I am good-I have a hard time believing it. I don't trust them but I still seek it out. I still feel this need to hear it. I would like to say it stems from the teacher who did stuff to me and her constantly telling me I was worthless and would never amount to anything etc but that is giving her too much power I think. If you have the feeling from this post and others that I am confused-you are right. lol I am confused...alot! lol But I am trying to figure stuff out. Why I do what I do. Why I need people to tell me I am good when I don't even believe it anyways. I guess part of me thinks that if enough people tell me I am good enough then I will believe it finally. But you know what? I am realizing I will never believe it no matter how many people compliment me. I can't find validation through other people. I need to find it with in myself somehow I think. This will be interesting because I have no idea how to accomplish this but I am going to try. Thanks for reading!

PICTURES!!!

Ok well I love taking pictures and these pictures are from last week of the frost but I was so immersed in the Olympics I didn't even find time to look at them till this week! lol Well I hope you enjoy seeing these as much as I did taking them!
This is of our willows covered in frost

This is a picture I managed to capture showing the frost falling off the willows which is so much fun to stand under as it falls! It is so pretty too!

This is of the Silver Maples outside my bedroom window and the beautiful blue Alberta sky!

This is one of the frost falling off of the trees and I tried to capture how the frost sparkles as it falls but I suppose it is one of those things you really have to be there to see it completely. I love standing there and watching the frost fall around me and how it sparkles in the sunlight. Soooo pretty!

Frost on a Silver Maple and gorgous Blue Alberta sky.

Skating- no go!

Hi Again,
Well I went to go skating and wasn't able to because it has been so nice outside that the ice on Bower Ponds is turning in to slush. So I could not skate sadly. I was really dissapointed. I ended up buying a McCain Deep N Delicious Cake because chocolate cake always makes a person feel better! lol well it tasted sooo good but I think I need more than that to get back to my old self again. So I am working on it. I did go for a nice walk though-it is so beautiful outside!! March is a month that every year it can be different. It is sort of where the weather starts to change so we can sometimes have -30 and snowing or no snow and +10! lol It is very unpredictable. My birthday is at the end of March and I have seen +20 and also -40 and blizzarding and anything and everything in between. Of course not in the same year but different years. lol Well this year looks like we could have a nice March but it can also change in a hurry too. It will be interesting to see how March shapes up in terms of weather. So far it isn't looking very good for skating outside! lol

Ketchup

Hi again,
The title may seem odd and it is actually only something that signifies a bigger issue. If you have been following my blog, you probably read my post about curveballs. Well lately I have been dealing with a lot of wee little curveballs that have been making day to day stuff difficult. Emotionally I have actually been not doing so well as a result. You know how it is probably-things happen and you get worn down emotionally? Well that is where I am at. I will not get into everything but today I sort of had the thing that just is so insignificant but because of everything else-it brought me almost to tears. That thing? We ran out of ketchup and there is none in the pantry because someone forgot to write it on the grocery list. We have a rule here that if you grab the last one of something-you write it on the grocery list. Well it doesn't always work obviously. Well normally this would be something so insignificant to me and I would just search for something that would work second best and be on with my life. But not today. I was almost in tears. It is funny how when we are dealing with stuff that we react so differently to things. One other issue I had that is bothering me is that I did something last week that required me to open up and share and trust and I got my hopes up and I have realized today that it probably won't happen. I think I set myself up in a way though because the likelyhood of it happening was very slim. So I have realized I need to do something because I can't stay in this place where no ketchup is so upsetting to me. lol So I am going to go skating this afternoon and hopefully manage to enjoy myself and feel better emotionally. I might even take another pic to post. lol Thanks for reading.

My thoughts on The Secret

Hi again,
Well yesterday I watched Oprah-yes I watch Oprah sometimes if it sounds interesting. Anyways it was about beauty and what it looks like around the world and what not and was quite interesting actually. BUT of course Oprah had to bring up stuff about the Secret which she is in to and I was like oh boy here it comes again. Let me say right off I am against alot of what is in The Secret. Also it is frustrating that because Oprah endorses it then people seem to follow blindly without really thinking about it and what they are agreeing with. The whole premise of the Secret I think is on how the Universe is in control and it gives you back what you give out. But my major problem with this is that essentially bad stuff that happens to you is completely your fault and in some cases it actually is but in the instance of rape or murder-how can you tell people they were raped because of something they sent out in to the universe that caused the universe to cause this to happen? Let me say right now that people who are raped did not do this to themselves and it is NOT their fault. I believe in God and free will of every person and there is evil in this world also as well as good. Not some universe that gives you what you ask for. I do think that a small bit of the Secret is right in the sense that we attract people who are like us in the sense that if we are positive that positive people will likely enjoy beign around us but that is ALL that is correct with the Secret. Beyond that it is bogus. Yesterday Oprah said to Jessica Simpson that because she feels she has learned what Beauty really is that the universe is going to test her to see if she has really learned this lesson because the universe is always teaching us lessons and testing us. LOL ROFL Uh this had me laughing pretty hard! Well I think I can explain this in more normal terms here. Well Jessica appears on Oprah and essentially is putting a spotlight on herself where people see her and will either critisize or applaud her. The universe Oprah is actually speaking about is of the people variety. Not some cosmic force that causes people to do things to test Jessica Simpson. I personally think Jessica looks healthy and beautiful and I don't get why anyone would want to say she is fat but I guess some people like annorexic girls that are sticks I suppose? How is that beautiful? I am sorry-I try to be nice and polite about things I post but this is so extremely frustrating for me that people would believe this. I try to not let things get under my skin but it doesn't always work and this is something that I really have a hard time with and it has really gotten under my skin. Thanks for reading and I hope I have not offended anyone.

What a nice gesture

Hi again,
Quite often I get annoyed with the comments and opinions of Americans about Canada and how often we are mocked or put down or just plain not understood. I am sure it has showed up in some of my posts. But I just saw something that someone posted on another website that showed me that not all Americans think so badly of us and took time to show the similarities between two countries that share a very long border. Here is the video that is quite touching and shows that shows Canada's qualities that we have known about all along and wished that Americans would see I think. Here is the link. Tom Brokaw Explains Canada To Americans.
Also an NBC anchor left quite a nice thank you note apparently for us Canadians after the Olympics were done that is also quite touching and funny. Here it is.
"Leaving behind a thank-you note
This is from the NBC Olympic anchorman:

Brian Williams, anchor and managing editor

After tonight's broadcast and after looting our hotel mini-bars, we're going to try to brave the blizzard and fly east to home and hearth, and to do laundry well into next week. Before we leave this thoroughly polite country, the polite thing to do is leave behind a thank-you note.

Thank you, Canada:

For being such good hosts.

For your unfailing courtesy.

For your (mostly) beautiful weather.

For scheduling no more than 60 percent of your float plane departures at the exact moment when I was trying to say something on television.

For not seeming to mind the occasional (or constant) good-natured mimicry of your accents.


For your unique TV commercials -- for companies like Tim Hortons -- which made us laugh and cry.

For securing this massive event without choking security, and without publicly displaying a single automatic weapon.

For having the best garment design and logo-wear of the games -- you've made wearing your name a cool thing to do.

For the sportsmanship we saw most of your athletes display.

For not honking your horns. I didn't hear one car horn in 15 days -- which also means none of my fellow New Yorkers rented cars while visiting.

For making us aware of how many of you have been watching NBC all these years.

For having the good taste to have an anchorman named Brian Williams on your CTV network, who turns out to be such a nice guy.

For the body scans at the airport which make pat-downs and cavity searches unnecessary.

For designing those really cool LED Olympic rings in the harbor, which turned to gold when your athletes won one.

For always saying nice things about the United States...when you know we're listening.

For sharing Joannie Rochette with us.

For reminding some of us we used to be a more civil society.
Mostly, for welcoming the world with such ease and making lasting friends with all of us."

I guess there are Americans who do not think badly of Canada after all! Maybe after these Olympics maybe, just maybe, there will be a few less Americans who put us Canadians down and realize we are a great country also. Maybe Americans thinking we are a great country is a little much to ask tho-even if they feel we are ok and they stop putting us down that would be a fine start in my books! lol Thanks for reading!

new diet for a few days

Hi again,
I just had a tooth pulled yesterday that had to be done sadly. I did not have much other choice because I don't have money to afford a root canal. Anyways I can't have solid food for a few days so that had left me sad and a bit cranky because to me food is almost a hobby because I love food soooo much! lol You would not guess it from looking at me but I have been blessed with a great metabolism I guess? Or something else possibly? I have to eat alot because I am always hungry so I guess I burn through calories quickly. Anyways I was sad because I can't eat the usual food for a few days and I am rather hungry because of the restricted diet. So someone I know sent me this link to a very funny youtube video that helped cheer me up! I wanted to share it with you! Computer Says Noo it is so soooo funny! Now back to mashed potatoes and strawberry yogurt. lol But not at the same time-I don't know if that combo would taste so good together. lol I will try make myself some baby food later too. Yay! so much fun. lol

What a great end to the Olympics!!!

Hi again!
Well I really wanted to post about the AMAZING Men's Hockey Game yesterday!! Wow it was another nail biter (if you bite your nails lol) and stressful but Canada pulled through in the end!!!! YAY!! I have to say also that the US really played well and gave Canada a good challenge but what can I say? Hockey is Canada's game and we were just a little bit better! lol The US really did play well and I hope that they enjoy their silver as they should because a silver is still a great accomplishment. But the game was so much fun to watch! Except the last 30seconds when the US scored and tied the game and forced us into overtime! But our guys came back and played great and they were focused and Crosby scored that winning goal which will probably be played over and over now for who knows how long. lol But we can't forget that it was the whole team that got to that point also. It wouldn't have been the golden goal if it hadn't of been for the good game played and the other two goals scored. Also our goalie Roberto was great!! He stopped so many shots and really played well. But that final goal was sooooo exciting and I think all across Canada there was cheering and jumping up and down and celebrating at that same exact moment! Just as we all probably yelled nooooo at the tv when the Americans scored the goal with 24sec left on the clock. But a game is never over till it is over! Well I am really proud of our Men's team and how they came back after the loss against the US and played their best. This was such a great way to end the Olympics on home soil!!!
Also the Closing ceremonies did not dissapoint. They were really quite neat and lots of talent as well! I hope that after all of this, the rest of the world has a better idea of Canada and maybe we will stop hearing questions about us living in igloos and riding polar bears! lol But I have a feeling that will always be around because there will always be people who have some crazy ideas. Also I think we surprised the world that we are as patriotic as we are and I am proud that the world could see how proud we are of our country! Now sadly it is time to get back to our lives and back to normal. But we can do so with a renewed sense of pride in this glorious country called Canada!!!